Romantic Icebreakers

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Dating Tips: Getting the First Date

Getting the first date. Asking the girl or guy out. Actually talking to a girl or guy for the first time and so on.... The holy grail of terror. The worst consequence can be no more than no, rejection, NA-DA, next one please, thanks but no thanks. For many of us, you would think that date rejection is the same as life imprisonment, the electric chair or a slow painful death by fireants. Especially grown men who every day fight fires, subdue bad guys, tame wild animals, master mega corporations, jump out of airplanes or slay dragons, but cower in fear at the thought of asking the girl of their dreams out for a night. Here are some tips that may help you slay the dragon's fear of rejection.

Tip 1: Expect rejection. It will happen. Think of it as fishing where you know you will have to put your line in the water many times, try many different baits and numerous fishing holes before you make a catch.

Tip 2: When rejection occurs, do not take it personal. The most successful date makers laugh in the face of rejection and simply try again. If you gave up that easily in fishing, you would never catch anything.

Tip 3: Pick you hunting grounds carefully. Do not expect high success rates in singles bars and dance clubs. The game is most wary in these places. Try normal, everyday, common places instead.

Tip 4: Sincere is good. Appearing needy is bad. Do not try so hard. A slight air of non-chalant or independence has an attractive quality to it that appeals to the opposite sex.

Tip 5: Expand your horizons. If you must date only the best looking guys or prettiest girls, your rejection rate is going to be much higher. The more you date, the more skilled you will become and besides, there is no known correlation between physical appearance and dates that are the most fun.

Tip 5a: To the Guys. Many girls find it to be a positive trait in guys who date girls who are less than stunningly beautiful. This shows that you are sincere and not shallow. Guys on the other hand, while not considering it necessarily negative, simply are unable to comprehend why beautiful girls would and do date less than the best looking guys. Guys usually think the reason is because it is because the guy either has lots of money or is exceptionally good in bed. Although those may be possible reasons, it usually does not occur to the male species, that females or more likely to consider other positive traits besides physical appearance. If guys would play by the same rules, they would get alot more dates.

Tip 6: Use pre-packaged pickup lines sparingly or not at all. When you do use them, put the sexual references back in the joke can. Instead of wasting your time on trite pick-up lines, think of instead of using conversational and situation icebreakers. A few examples are presented below for your enjoyment.

Conversational and Situational Ice Breakers

In bars and dance clubs, instead of asking:
"Can I buy you a drink" (shows lack of imagination)
ask instead, "Have you ever had (tried) a Tequila Sunrise?" Select the most exotic, unknown drink you can think of. If they say no they have not tried it, ask them if you could get their opinion on it. Why this is better than the first question is because first you are asking their opinion and secondly, because a direct offer to buy implies a return obligation on their part.

For the Older Gang: Did you have a color television when you were a kid. What was the baby’s name on The Flintstones or similar question: This will almost always generate further conversation. For the younger gang, a similar question can relate to a more recent TV show or movie.

In the produce department, "How can you tell if these things are ripe?"
There are all kinds of grocery questions you can ask and you will almost always get a response but taking this to the next level at the supermarket can be tricky. Women do not always wear their wedding band to the grocery and the husband or wife may be merely lurking on the next aisle. If the coast seems clear, direct the conversation towards food-a universal subject of interest. This is too soon to invite them over or out for dinner. It works much better to invite them (especially if the intended date is female) to a group setting and suggest they bring along a friend. You will call them with the date, time and place.

At the laundromat: "How much bleach should I put in with my good shirt. Girls can always ask for help from guys in lifting things. This seems to be universally appreciated by guys, being such simple creatures that they are..(chest beating sounds)

Meeting someone thru sports: The gym, tennis court, golf course, lake, swimming pool, bowling alley, jogging lane, horseback riding, auto races, horse track, running, etc. The advantage is that both parties already know they have something in common. The disadvantage is that people engage in sports often to unwind and get away from people. If you approach the first time they have seen you there, you will probably get shot down. A simple greeting the first few times may be enough and then extend the conversation every so slightly each time. Of course, if they show no interest in talking to you, don't be a boob and keep bothering them. They will spread the word about you and you will be dead meat at that location forevermore.

Meeting someone in a group at public events. A safe, avenue of future contact. In fact, most young people do not initially date anymore; they just meet someone, usually in the company of others. Small groups of people meet at various places and some eventually pair off. This has been going on forever, but this trend is more common now than it has even been in the past. Besides being safer, this phenomenon is very comfortable and effective because the group itself becomes the icebreaker.

Date in pairs or in small groups: This is an extension of meeting in small groups. This phenomenon is also very old and used to be referred to as double dating. At the early dating stage, this is very reassuring and it still works. An offer of an informal first date within a small group has a lower chance of rejection than a romantic dinner at an expensive restaurant. The latter is very serious for the initial stage of dating and runs the risk of too many mistakes and mutual embarrassment.

Friend to friend contacts: Many dates are actually arranged via the grapevine. Someone who knows someone who knows someone makes a referral or gives a reference, shares a phone number or even makes the arrangements. Females tend to use this method more than males probably because females are by nature more cooperative; whereas, men are more competitive and therefore more reluctant to share contacts. It is also a known fact (so prove us wrong) that males who have more female friends tend to get more dates than males who have fewer non-romantic female friends. So, let your friends be your guide. They may not always choose right, but you will get you more dates.

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